Building Community in a Divided Society

American society is divided and polarized in our beliefs and perspectives, now more than ever. This can present unique challenges around connecting with others who we may not view as “like us” in our thought processes or belief systems, and this isolation can negatively impact our mental health. In this blog post, we’ll explore how to find community in a divided world, and why community is so important to our mental well-being. 

Americans Feel Divided, Even in Their Own Communities

If you live in the U.S. right now, you’ve probably noticed the division and polarization happening in society right now, so this data may come as no surprise: Americans are less likely than people abroad to feel close to others in their country and community, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center survey of 24 nations. Even fewer Americans feel close to people in their local community: 54% feel a connection to others near them, compared with a median of 78% of adults across all 24 countries. 

When there are differences among people which cause conflict, it is typically recommended that we name and talk about the differences in order to facilitate better understanding of each others’ perspectives; however, when talking about the issue doesn’t lead to better understanding or gaining a sense of empathy for someone else, we can feel even more isolated and alone.

What is Community? 

Our sense of community can be broken down into four elements: 

• Membership defines who is in the community and who is out. It shows that people value the sense of belonging which comes with being identified as a member. Fan clubs are an extreme example of the power of membership and are often characterized by symbols of membership such as badges and t-shirts. A professional association, another example of a community of practice, might have formal membership requirements such as fees and exams before you can join. 

• Influence is the notion that “my voice counts.”  When you speak, others listen and often act on your advice. 

• Fulfillment of needs – people belong to communities to satisfy one or more needs. In a community of practice, a common need is to get better at one’s job or profession. 

• Emotional connection includes shared history, shared participation, and identification with that history, and a deeply felt connection between members. It is the most nebulous aspect of our sense of community, but still very important. 

(Source: Sense of Community: A Definition and Theory, David W. McMillan and David M. Chavis, Journal of Community Psychology, Volume 14, 1986)

It’s clear from data like that of the Pew Research study that for most Americans, one or more of these four elements are missing from our sense of community within our communities. Why we feel that way is a topic of much debate (and we won’t get to the bottom of it in this blog post), but regardless, the lack of community can have adverse mental health outcomes.

How Lack of Community Impacts Mental Health

As humans, we are wired to need interpersonal connection in order to survive. Community is an essential part of our health, both mental and physical. 

According to a National Institute of Health study (2023), compared with those who report a positive sense of community, those with a negative sense of community had significantly higher odds of reporting depression, anxiety and stress symptoms. 

Without a more defined sense of community, we can often put more stress on our interpersonal relationships or our job to give us all of the connection and fulfillment that we need, leading to greater stress and interpersonal conflict.  

What We Can Do to Rebuild Our Sense of Community

Given the state of the world and American society right now, it’s more important than ever to try and rebuild a sense of community, for our own sake as well as others, hopefully with a ripple effect of healing our broader sense of division and isolation as a country.

Here are some steps you can take to rebuild community in your own life: 

• Try to find a group of like minded people with whom you can interact regularly in person. To fulfill our need for connection and membership in a group, it is essential to have friends, colleagues, or others who share values and interests and with whom you can interact with regularly IRL, or offline. 

• Limit social media usage and engaging in online debates that can lead to more anger, hatred, and tendency toward bias. Besides, when has arguing online ever led to a productive conversation or someone changing their mind?

• Engage in an activity that benefits others and is meaningful to you. This doesn’t have to be political, and even if you aren’t able to do it as regularly as you’d like to, it can still help you rebuild a sense of influence, or ability to create positive change, which is key to your sense of community. 

• Avoiding divisive topics, while generally discouraged, is sometimes necessary to maintain your own boundaries and mental health (i.e., not getting into a political debate with family on a holiday, colleagues at work, or among friends with whom you share a hobby.) Focusing on what you share in common is key to building community, and building trust and vulnerability with people so that tough conversations don’t feel so fraught. 

• Prioritize your values and regularly do things that work towards your values. This can help with many aspects of finding community, from finding fulfillment, to connecting with others who are like-minded. Whether it’s participating in a park cleanup day because you value environmental causes, or volunteering at a food bank because you’re concerned about inequality, it’s important to find ways to align your actions with your values and connect with others who are doing the same. 

We’re in This Together

You don’t have to cope with feelings of isolation alone. It’s an incredibly difficult time in our country, and there are plenty of reasons to feel worried, angry, scared, and even distrustful. If you’re feeling disconnected from community and it’s impacting your mental health, our team at ECC is here to help. We'll match you with the right therapist and therapy approach to help you process your feelings and experiences, and strategize ways to connect with others in fulfilling ways. 

ABOUT ECC: 

Empowered Connections Counseling is a practice of licensed therapists providing quality, multidisciplinary counseling for adults, children & teens, relationships, and families in Chicago and across Illinois. Whether by in-person session or via telehealth, we work with clients to find the therapist and treatment methods that best suit their needs. Connect meaningfully with your life by booking an appointment today.

How to Stay Politically Engaged While Protecting Your Mental Health

It's a difficult, scary time in American politics. You may be feeling worried for the safety and well-being of yourself and your loved ones while also feeling anxious about the future of democracy. The policies being enacted by the current administration may have a direct impact on you and your community, whether it's the threat of deportations, being targeted for your gender identity, or the possibility of losing your job. Balancing your mental health and daily life while staying informed and active may feel impossible even if you feel relatively privileged and unlikely to experience direct harm from current political policies. This blog outlines some healthy coping strategies for staying engaged and creating sustainability even when political news and events are causing you stress and anxiety. 

First, Your Feelings Are Valid

If you're feeling anxious, stressed, or scared right now, it's because you're a human being with empathy. It's important to take a moment to feel your feelings rather than ignoring them or getting frustrated with yourself when you find it hard to focus at work, stay mentally present with loved ones, or feel joy. Your feelings are a sign that your humanity is still intact.

That being said, it’s all too easy to get burnt out by doom-scrolling, obsessing over the news, or giving too much of yourself without making time to rest and care for your own needs. If we want to stay in touch with our humanity in this challenging time, we have to be strategic about our time and attention so that we have the energy to care for ourselves and our communities and stand up for our values. 

Six Therapy Tips on How to Stay Politically Engaged without Getting Burnt Out: 

1. Schedule Your Exposure to the News (And Your Feelings About It) 

If you find that you’re struggling to disengage with your worry, schedule it. Pick 30 minutes or an hour once or twice a day when you can read articles, check in on groups you’re active in, and feel your feelings about current events. Setting time aside allows you to be more present in the moment while knowing you will also make space for the parts of you that are activated due to fear, anger, and grief.

2. Evaluate & Adjust Your Social Media Use

Examine what purpose social media is serving you and what your limitations are:

• If it’s for political updates and interaction, engage with it in a more structured way. Some social media websites have a time limit feature – use that, or set an alarm so you don’t get lost doom scrolling.

• If it’s for socializing, community engagement, and watching cute cat videos, hide individuals who post political rhetoric, double-check the settings that allow you to only see accounts you follow, and curate your algorithm the best you can so that your social feeds are the reprieve you need. This might mean avoiding certain social media platforms temporarily or leaving them entirely, and that’s okay. 

3. Check In with Your Own Needs

With politics so overwhelming right now (and much of it out of our control), it’s important to check in with yourself on what you need and what might be adding to the overwhelm. Maybe you need more or less time with friends and family; maybe you need to engage in activities that are less likely to overstimulate you due to noise or bright screens; maybe you need a cozy game moment rather than video games that are stressful or competitive. Maybe your body and mind need you to carve out time for a nap so you can get some literal rest. Whatever your needs may be, the most important thing is to honor them by gauging your overwhelm often and finding healthy ways to decompress.

4. Don’t Forgo Self Care 

Drink water, eat regularly, take your meds, and get enough sleep. These acts are essential to maintaining your energy, perspective, and emotional resilience. Because times of continued stress and trauma often require us to take care of ourselves differently, take some time to also check in with yourself about your normal self care routine – does any of it need to change? What do you need to add in or take away? 

5. Engage with the things that bring you joy. 

Many activists have said it before, and that’s because it’s true: joy is resistance. Engaging in joy intentionally is a great way to affirm your humanity, remember what matters to you, and be reminded that it can exist even when the world feels scary and unsafe. 

6. Find Sustainable Ways to Engage with Your Values & Support Your Communities 

Be upfront with yourself about what you have the capacity for so you can set realistic expectations. Know your capacity might change day to day or week to week; it’s okay to take breaks if it means you won’t burn out. Remember that you’re not an island; you’re part of a bigger community working together through daily acts to create meaningful change. Here are some practical ways to engage with your values without getting burnt out:

• Write your representatives: your alderpeople, senators, congresspeople, attorney generals, etc. 

• Donate to mutual aid groups and causes that align with your values

• Support local businesses and be aware of boycotts happening for large corporations that may be supporting harmful initiatives

• Volunteer with community organizations 

• Check in on friends, family, and community members who might be affected by the actions of the current administration

7. Seek Support From a Therapist If You Need It 

If you’re struggling to cope with political stress and anxiety on your own, you’re not alone. It’s okay to bring this up in therapy or to seek a therapist to discuss your feelings. 

ABOUT ECC: 

Empowered Connections Counseling is a practice of licensed therapists providing quality, multidisciplinary counseling for adults, children & teens, relationships, and families in Chicago and across Illinois. Whether by in-person session or via telehealth, we work with clients to find the therapist and treatment methods that best suit their needs. Connect meaningfully with your life by booking an appointment today.