Building Community in a Divided Society

American society is divided and polarized in our beliefs and perspectives, now more than ever. This can present unique challenges around connecting with others who we may not view as “like us” in our thought processes or belief systems, and this isolation can negatively impact our mental health. In this blog post, we’ll explore how to find community in a divided world, and why community is so important to our mental well-being. 

Americans Feel Divided, Even in Their Own Communities

If you live in the U.S. right now, you’ve probably noticed the division and polarization happening in society right now, so this data may come as no surprise: Americans are less likely than people abroad to feel close to others in their country and community, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center survey of 24 nations. Even fewer Americans feel close to people in their local community: 54% feel a connection to others near them, compared with a median of 78% of adults across all 24 countries. 

When there are differences among people which cause conflict, it is typically recommended that we name and talk about the differences in order to facilitate better understanding of each others’ perspectives; however, when talking about the issue doesn’t lead to better understanding or gaining a sense of empathy for someone else, we can feel even more isolated and alone.

What is Community? 

Our sense of community can be broken down into four elements: 

• Membership defines who is in the community and who is out. It shows that people value the sense of belonging which comes with being identified as a member. Fan clubs are an extreme example of the power of membership and are often characterized by symbols of membership such as badges and t-shirts. A professional association, another example of a community of practice, might have formal membership requirements such as fees and exams before you can join. 

• Influence is the notion that “my voice counts.”  When you speak, others listen and often act on your advice. 

• Fulfillment of needs – people belong to communities to satisfy one or more needs. In a community of practice, a common need is to get better at one’s job or profession. 

• Emotional connection includes shared history, shared participation, and identification with that history, and a deeply felt connection between members. It is the most nebulous aspect of our sense of community, but still very important. 

(Source: Sense of Community: A Definition and Theory, David W. McMillan and David M. Chavis, Journal of Community Psychology, Volume 14, 1986)

It’s clear from data like that of the Pew Research study that for most Americans, one or more of these four elements are missing from our sense of community within our communities. Why we feel that way is a topic of much debate (and we won’t get to the bottom of it in this blog post), but regardless, the lack of community can have adverse mental health outcomes.

How Lack of Community Impacts Mental Health

As humans, we are wired to need interpersonal connection in order to survive. Community is an essential part of our health, both mental and physical. 

According to a National Institute of Health study (2023), compared with those who report a positive sense of community, those with a negative sense of community had significantly higher odds of reporting depression, anxiety and stress symptoms. 

Without a more defined sense of community, we can often put more stress on our interpersonal relationships or our job to give us all of the connection and fulfillment that we need, leading to greater stress and interpersonal conflict.  

What We Can Do to Rebuild Our Sense of Community

Given the state of the world and American society right now, it’s more important than ever to try and rebuild a sense of community, for our own sake as well as others, hopefully with a ripple effect of healing our broader sense of division and isolation as a country.

Here are some steps you can take to rebuild community in your own life: 

• Try to find a group of like minded people with whom you can interact regularly in person. To fulfill our need for connection and membership in a group, it is essential to have friends, colleagues, or others who share values and interests and with whom you can interact with regularly IRL, or offline. 

• Limit social media usage and engaging in online debates that can lead to more anger, hatred, and tendency toward bias. Besides, when has arguing online ever led to a productive conversation or someone changing their mind?

• Engage in an activity that benefits others and is meaningful to you. This doesn’t have to be political, and even if you aren’t able to do it as regularly as you’d like to, it can still help you rebuild a sense of influence, or ability to create positive change, which is key to your sense of community. 

• Avoiding divisive topics, while generally discouraged, is sometimes necessary to maintain your own boundaries and mental health (i.e., not getting into a political debate with family on a holiday, colleagues at work, or among friends with whom you share a hobby.) Focusing on what you share in common is key to building community, and building trust and vulnerability with people so that tough conversations don’t feel so fraught. 

• Prioritize your values and regularly do things that work towards your values. This can help with many aspects of finding community, from finding fulfillment, to connecting with others who are like-minded. Whether it’s participating in a park cleanup day because you value environmental causes, or volunteering at a food bank because you’re concerned about inequality, it’s important to find ways to align your actions with your values and connect with others who are doing the same. 

We’re in This Together

You don’t have to cope with feelings of isolation alone. It’s an incredibly difficult time in our country, and there are plenty of reasons to feel worried, angry, scared, and even distrustful. If you’re feeling disconnected from community and it’s impacting your mental health, our team at ECC is here to help. We'll match you with the right therapist and therapy approach to help you process your feelings and experiences, and strategize ways to connect with others in fulfilling ways. 

ABOUT ECC: 

Empowered Connections Counseling is a practice of licensed therapists providing quality, multidisciplinary counseling for adults, children & teens, relationships, and families in Chicago and across Illinois. Whether by in-person session or via telehealth, we work with clients to find the therapist and treatment methods that best suit their needs. Connect meaningfully with your life by booking an appointment today.

5 Tips for Managing Social Anxiety

At one point or another, most people will experience embarrassment and fears of acceptance, but for some, this experience is much more acute. For a person with social anxiety, going to a party, having a one-on-one conversation with a stranger or acquaintance, or joining a new social circle through work or school can induce panic and uncomfortable physical symptoms such as sweating, flushing, increased heart rate, racing thoughts, and more. The acute anxiety and dread may even lead people to avoid certain situations to their own detriment, making life hard to enjoy—limiting their relationships, as well as professional or recreational ambitions. But there is help for people living with social anxiety! If you suspect that you have social anxiety, you do not have to manage it alone. Read on for tips and information about how social anxiety can be treated through mental health therapy. 

What is Social Anxiety? 

One of the most important things to understand about social anxiety disorder is that it is a mental health issue, not a personality trait such as shyness or introversion. According to the American Psychiatric Association’s DSM-5, criteria for social anxiety includes:

• Persistent, intense fear or anxiety about specific social situations because you believe you may be judged negatively, embarrassed or humiliated

• Avoidance of anxiety-producing social situations or enduring them with intense fear or anxiety

• Excessive anxiety that's out of proportion to the situation

• Anxiety or distress that interferes with your daily living

• Fear or anxiety that is not better explained by a medical condition, medication, or substance abuse

Social anxiety is also distinct from conditions like agoraphobia, although they are both anxiety disorders with some overlapping symptoms, like avoidance and staying home. Whereas agoraphobia is a fear of being in a place that will trigger panic (e.g., an elevator), social anxiety is relational–it is a fear of being embarrassed or offending others, or being rejected by others.

When to Seek Professional Help for Social Anxiety

An estimated seven percent of American adults have social anxiety, with 75% experiencing the onset of social anxiety symptoms as teenagers. If you’ve noticed an increase in the volume and intensity of anxious thought patterns in the last few years since the COVID-19 pandemic, you aren’t alone — it’s estimated that social anxiety disorders rose more than 25% globally since 2020. 

When your social anxiety begins to interfere with your everyday life, it’s time to seek professional help from a mental health provider. For example:

• If you are frequently avoiding social situations at work, school, or with friends and family

• If you are unable to participate in activities you enjoy or want to do

• If your anxiety is causing you to have trouble sleeping or concentrating 

• If you are struggling with maladaptive coping behaviors such as alcohol or drug abuse 

• If you have feelings of self-loathing or even suicidal thoughts because of your anxiety and isolation

• If you experience physical distress such as panic attacks, headaches, chronic pain, or digestive issues when you are in a social setting, or anticipating a social event

You do not have to manage this alone. A trusted mental health professional can help you, in person or virtually. 

Types of Therapy that Can Help Treat Social Anxiety

There are a few different therapeutic approaches that a therapist may try to help treat your social anxiety: 

• Mindfulness meditation during therapy sessions can be very helpful when it comes to treating social anxiety because it teaches you how to relax your mind and your body.

• Art therapy can also be very beneficial to treating social anxiety because you can learn how to regulate your emotions through art, which can also help relax your mind and body. Art therapy can also be utilized at home in moments when social anxiety is present.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is a form of talk therapy, and through it your therapist can help you learn to identify specific thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that are fueling your distress. From there, you can begin to explore those feelings and reframe them into more helpful beliefs.

A multidisciplinary approach to therapy can combine different approaches like mindfulness and art therapy practices with more traditional forms of treatment like CBT to give clients multiple tools and skills to access in different situations where social anxiety comes into play. 

For some people, social anxiety is very acute. In cases where mindfulness, art therapy, or CBT are not enough to effectively manage social anxiety, a therapist will refer the client to a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication.

5 Tips You Can Try Right Now to Ease Social Anxiety

Social anxiety disorder can leave people feeling helpless, but there are steps you can take to disrupt anxious thought patterns, find confidence, and connect with others. Below are some tips that may be helpful to ease social anxiety:

• Challenge your negative thoughts: Sometimes it can feel as if you have no control, but when you challenge negative thoughts, it can disrupt the flow of anxiety and give you time to pause, notice how irrational they are, and dismiss them. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to disrupt negative thought patterns that fuel anxiety: 

• Is there evidence for my thought? 

• Is there evidence contrary to my thought? 

• What would a friend or loved one think about this? 

• Will this matter in six months? A year? Five years? 

• Work on your breathing: When you feel anxious, your body can experience an increased heart rate, pounding chest, muscle tension, sweatiness, along with other physical symptoms. By learning how to slow down your breath you can ground yourself to calm your nervous system and your anxious thoughts. For example, box breathing is a simple but powerful technique to help regulate your mind and body when you’re feeling anxious.

• Be kind to yourself: Dealing with social anxiety is not easy, and sometimes it can feel frustrating to struggle to interact with others; however, remind yourself that nobody is perfect, and that you should not feel embarrassed. Give yourself the same grace that you would give to others. 

• Talking to others can be hard when you are dealing with social anxiety; however, by challenging yourself to interact with others you can start to build positive experiences and the emotional resilience to feel comfortable and confident. 

• Bring awareness to your environment by using your five senses by naming: 

• 5 things you can see 

• 4 things you can feel 

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste
  

Social Anxiety Therapists in Chicago

At ECC Chicago, we’re committed to working with patients to find the right therapeutic method and therapist to suit your needs. Our diverse group of licensed therapists offer a multidisciplinary approach to social anxiety treatment, often combining different mindfulness, art therapy and somatic practices, as well as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to suit our clients’ unique needs. We will also refer you to a psychiatrist for additional support if we think a medication prescription will be beneficial in treating a condition like social anxiety disorder. 

If you’re struggling with social anxiety, ECC Chicago is here to help. Reach out to schedule an intake session today. Together we can help you connect meaningfully with your life. 

About ECC: 

Empowered Connections Counseling is a practice of licensed therapists providing quality, multidisciplinary counseling for adults, children & teens, relationships, and families in Chicago and across Illinois. Whether by in-person session or via telehealth, we work with clients to find the therapist and treatment methods that best suit their needs. Connect meaningfully with your life by booking an appointment today.