Mapping out Therapy - An Interview with founder Danielle Zawadzki

Have questions about what to expect when coming to therapy? What types of therapy are there? How to know if a therapist is a good fit? Empowered Connections Counseling Founder, Danielle Zawadzki, LMFT sat down with Palos Heights’ (PHTV4) Living Well program to discuss the ins and outs of therapy. Below is a brief summary of her interview, and be sure to check out the full length interview with more in depth insights at the link below. 

Q: What are the different types of therapy out there? 

A: If you were to see a therapist once a week that would be considered outpatient, and this can be in the context of individual therapy, relational therapy, family therapy, or group therapy. Individual therapy is for people of all ages, couple or relationship therapy would typically be with you and your partner(s), family therapy is with all members of a family or certain members of the family, and group therapy is usually a person joining a group of people who are working on a similar topic or goal. 

Q: What types of presenting issues bring people into therapy, whether individual, relationship, or family? 

A: On the individual level there are a wide range of topics including anxiety, depression, eating issues, substance use, life transitions, interpersonal support, etc. For relationships you might find people coming in for conflict involving destructive arguments, infidelity, divorce or separation, and even premarital counseling. For family therapy presenting topics might include conflict, life transition like an adult child returning home, or even a young child struggling with behavioral issues. 

Q: How do you find a therapist and how do you know if they are a good fit? A: You can start by searching for a therapist in a few ways. One way is by asking close friends or family for a word of mouth referral, doing a google search in your area by inserting your zip code, or using Psychology Today. 

As far as whether or not they are a good fit, it is best to consider a few things first. Do you have a preference of the therapist’s gender? What level of experience or specialties are you looking for? After you identify those things, what is most important is the feeling you get when you are in the room with them. Do you feel safe? Do you feel like you can trust them? 

Q: What can people expect in their first session? 

A: Every therapist has a different structure, but generally you can expect to first review any paperwork with your therapist. Then, you might walk through the structure of therapy, what to expect, how long sessions will be. Next, you might start to get into your history, background information, and relevant information relating to your presenting issues. Last, you

will have an opportunity to ask any questions. Examples of important questions to ask might be, what approach do you take? What does that look like? What does that mean? What will we be doing? 

Final Thoughts: 

Therapy is an active process, on the part of the therapist and the client. It involves an active role. We are not “doing” something to you. Together you are on the journey actively walking the path together. It is never too late to get therapy! It can be beneficial to get it sooner rather than later, but there is always help available. 

Living Well - PHTV4 Interview with founder Danielle Zawadzki

Becoming a Therapist- My Personal and Professional Journey

I’ve often been asked by others, how did I become a therapist? What motivated or attracted me to embark on this long and intensely challenging professional journey? Throughout my lifetime, both personal and professional experiences contributed to my choice of practicing psychotherapy and specializing in complex trauma.  

I was born in Poland during the 70s, the era of the communists' regime. As a child, it came naturally to me to be a caring, empathetic and compassionate person. I often tuned into my feelings and expressed myself well. I would spend time alone to attune to these passing feelings and the state of my body trying to figure out why I felt this way, often expressing them through art and writing poems. This growing self-reflection in me lead to my curiosity towards what other people think and feel as well as why they behave in certain ways. I often wondered about why some people were so loving and caring while others so authoritative, abusive, or self-absorbed?

In school, I became aware of my abilities to listen and have empathy towards others' suffering. Friends and others often came to me to unburden their wounds or to share their deepest secrets - we would sit there and puzzle on the best way to resolve or to cope with their struggles. I was the person who stood up for others, was concerned for my peers' well-being, even being there for bullies to help them see the hurt they were causing to others. Science, art, writing, reading novels, poems, and war stories were my daily inspiration. I remember being able to visualize so vividly characters from books, draw nature, and write poems about self and others. Listening to my grandma's heroic war stories was the most inspiring experience, and I learned that even in the most atrocious times there was always room for helping others. She was the first source of inspiration for the trauma work I do today.

At the age of 11, I experienced and witnessed relational/parental separation, which had become a norm in my country, by overwhelming migration and adjustment struggles of losing a parent or a caregiver. My mother also immigrated to the USA to search for a better life for us (my two brothers and me). As a middle child and the only female in the family, it came to me naturally to acquire the role of a mother to my both brothers, especially to youngest one. I grew close with my brothers and often soothed their distress and grief. I found a ''safe haven'' in my grandmother’s and auntie's arms.  I grew in strength, resiliency, and understanding of the importance of being there for my brothers. These relationships helped me to value the quality of family connection and strong bond on children's well-being.

As a 13 year old I experienced revolution, known as the ''Fall of Communism''. The post-communism times brought on economic turmoil, declining of the well-being of the country and the quality of life of many families, dramatically spreading poverty. In the face of collective suffering, political imprisonment, censorship, Martial law, cruelty, absurdity, and misery, relational closeness and support was the only ''safe haven'' for many - comforting others become an essential part of all human life.

At age 16 I was able to join my mother in the USA, where I began a time of a huge transition and adjustment as an immigrant - aspiring to fit into a new culture and communities was challenging, but also rewarding. Meeting people with similar experiences brought up for me this lingering drive of wanting to do more and to be able to help others in a similar situation. Relating to one another as immigrants was helping us to move forward, and we would meet on a regular basis to unburden our grievances and challenges. My new friends often found me genuinely supportive and encouraging, always there for them and listening to their stories and secrets.

Living as an undocumented immigrant for over 12 years brought a lot of fear in my life. I tried to lead a normal life; I did my GED in preparation to go to college to study psychology, I got married, had a child (daughter) and got divorced. I re-married and had a second daughter. As both my children were U.S. citizens, I feared that one day my husband or I might be removed from them. I did not know my country anymore, and the idea of going back was scary.  My family and I left the USA in 2005 to await legalization of our status. For the next 13 years, we embarked on a journey of trying to give our children a similar life as what they had in the USA, so we relocated to different countries such as the Czech Republic, the United Kingdom, Canada, and eventually back to America. It was a challenging period of readjustments, personal transformation, and an incredible opportunity to connect with people from various cultural and ethnic backgrounds.  The move to the United Kingdom presented an excellent opportunity for me; I finally enrolled in a higher education program in psychology and community studies as a prerequisite for the BSc in Counseling and Psychology, and then onto an MSc Counseling and Psychotherapy.

My curiosity was growing, but it wasn't until my practicum where my passion for psychotherapy and specializing in complex trauma come to light. During my 17 months of volunteering at the National Health Services in the UK as a support worker, I primarily worked with individuals diagnosed with borderline and anti-social personality disorders, who presented as complex and at times exhibited challenging and risky behaviors. Providing emotional, practical and crisis support for these individuals came naturally to me. I thought a great deal about their wounds and the overwhelming effect they had on their lives. I have learned that regardless of the importance of diagnosing these individuals based on DSM (Diagnostic Statistical Manual) criteria which are used by many professionals, every individual deserves to be treated as a person of worth with compassion, empathy, validation, and integrity. Today, as a psychotherapist and trauma professional these values represent my professional identity and practice.  

Like many others, I have experienced and witnessed distressing events that have impacted my family and myself. In my journey to become a therapist I suffered and hoped, I have experienced anxiety, distress and satisfaction, I developed a unique relationship with my true self, found meaning and the purpose in suffering - providing me with an opportunity for self-growth and self-actualization.  As Carl Rogers who inspired me both professionally and personally once said ''the organism has one basic tendency and striving - to actualize, maintain, and enhance the experiencing organism. The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination''.

I was one of those fortunate people who had close family members who were always there for me, who helped me to process my distress, and develop healthy ways of coping - they were my healers. Even though they left this earth, they still live in me, in my memories, they become a part of me. Today I am a therapist, a healer, a person who is devoting her life to help others find the meaning and purpose in their life within their struggles. I listen acceptingly and attentively to my clients, I struggle, puzzle and am curious with them and we search together for ways to help them heal and reach their potential in life.

Becoming a therapist combines both my personal and professional experiences. Through those, I grew in genuine love for all people regardless of their cultural or ethnic background. They shaped my personality and professional identity as well as practice. I find being a therapist specializing in trauma as an enriching career, even though at times it can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. I enjoy every aspect of it, the honor of being entrusted with deepest secrets or overwhelming experiences, the incredible human connection/intimacy, the possibility to be authentic and present and to actively listen, empathize and validate their wholeness is invaluable. To experience with and to ''hold'' another human being through the process of struggle, changes, healing, and transformation is the greatest reward one can experience. To witness a person’s face light up in hope for the future and witness their wounds becoming their strengths and meaning for the future are the greatest rewards for me as a therapist.