Collaboration, Connection, and Community: Q&A with ECC Therapist Peter Beer

Not all therapists start out knowing they want to be therapists. Some, like ECC Affiliate Therapist Peter Beer, start out in an entirely different field and realize that human relationships are what they want to dedicate their careers to. In his Q&A for our blog today, Peter shares about what led him to therapy and the approaches he finds beneficial in working with clients. And with June being Men’s Mental Health Month, he shares about the most common issue he sees among young men seeking therapy for the first time—loneliness—and how he coaches them through it.

Peter Beer, MA, AMFT

Affiliate Therapist

What inspired you to become a therapist? 

So many reasons! I actually took a roundabout way to this field—my undergrad was in Industrial Engineering. Although I enjoyed a lot about being in STEM, I found myself wanting more relational pieces to my daily work. I also wanted to feel more directly involved in helping others, particularly in my local communities, and have a career that allowed me to incorporate social justice into my work. Finally, I knew from personal experience how powerfully healing therapy could be, and I wanted to try and impart that to others!

If there’s one thing you could say to a person thinking about starting therapy for the first time, what would it be?

It can be daunting to jump into therapy for the first time—and even more daunting to choose a first therapist! But the biggest thing to remember is that you, as a client, have agency in deciding what that therapy experience should look like and feel like. Have a conversation with your therapist about what you’re looking for so that you can get a feel for how you want sessions to go (and if that’s difficult to articulate for now, no worries, that’s what the therapist is there to help put specifics to!)

In your bio, you say that you draw from a few different therapy approaches: Solution-Focused therapy, Collaborative Language Systems, and Symbolic-Experiential therapy. Can you talk more about what those are and why you find them helpful as a therapist? What kind of benefits do you see for your clients (or hope to see for your clients) through them? 

I see solution-focused and collaborative approaches in similar ways, because they both highlight the client’s own strengths and abilities to facilitate change. I believe everyone has the capacity to heal, and my job is simply to help them unlock that capacity. To me, Solution-Focused Therapy is all about helping clients find the language to describe where they want to “go.” Collaborative Language Systems is about empowering a client to take the lead on directing a session. Both approaches center around the concept that nobody knows better than yourself what feels helpful. I also believe both approaches are inherently trauma-informed as they allow clients to set their own pace in sessions.

Symbolic-Experiential Therapy, to me, is more about how I believe change occurs. In this approach, therapy invites emotional experience into the room so that clients can feel something different during the session. I believe that in order to be different, oftentimes we have to feel different first! That’s what I aim to do in a safe and secure way.

June is Men’s Mental Health Month. Stats show that 16% of American men are in mental health therapy, vs 25% of women. When you talk to men and boys who are seeking therapy for the first time, what comes up? What kinds of experiences make them decide to choose therapy? How do you coach them through overcoming the stigma around seeking help? 

Most of my experience currently is with teens and families, so I might be able to speak to this from an adolescent perspective best. I see a lot of boys—especially in high school—struggling to find community. Many boys aren’t encouraged or taught how to form close, supportive emotional connections with friends. And so attempts to find a sense of belonging can end up being unsuccessful or even damaging to themselves and/or others. Sometimes those attempts to find belonging don’t occur at all. I’ve gotten many teenage referrals who are simply needing generative human connection. For these clients, I aim to meet them where they’re at, and I use my own therapeutic relationship with them as a way to explore what safe, validating interactions can look like.

What are you reading / watching / listening to right now?

I’m currently on a Brandon Sanderson kick! So I just finished Elantris, and I’m on the second Mistborn book. I’ve really liked fantasy recently as a way to access some playful imagination. The other book I’m in the middle of is Warrior Girl Unearthed—young adult books can just be so sweet and enchanting, so I’m hoping this one pans out that way! I’m also an avid bridge player, so my current e-content is full of bridge educational videos and series (Peter Hollands and Gavin Wolpert are my favorites!)

What Is A Systems Therapist? Q&A with ECC Intern Therapist Riley Brennan

“I don’t believe in anything being a ‘personal problem,’” says Riley Brennan, our current graduate intern therapist who is completing her Master’s in Couple and Family Therapy at Adler University. In her Q&A on our blog today, Riley shares what it means to be a systems therapist: someone who works with clients to consider the system influences that impact their mental health, from family and friends, to workplace dynamics, religion, and politics. Keep reading to find out why she finds this framework helpful for connecting with clients.

Riley BRennan, MA, BA

Graduate Intern Therapist

What inspired you to become a therapist? 

My path to becoming a therapist was perhaps a bit untraditional. I have previously worked jobs in sexual violence prevention and response, sex education, and childcare. In their own way, each of these opportunities helped me consider ways to support people navigating the difficult situations and conversations of life, and they all led to being a couples and family therapist!

If there’s one thing you could say to a person thinking about starting therapy for the first time, what would it be? 

Welcome! You’re not too old or too young, too early or too late, too independent or too needy, too stubborn or too weak to be here; you’re right on time and exactly where you need to be. This is your journey, and you’ll get as much as you give.

You describe yourself as a systems therapist – can you talk more about what that means and why you find it helpful as a therapist? 

I don’t believe in anything being a “personal problem.” As a systemic-trained therapist, I look for the ways people have been influenced by and have influenced other aspects of their lives such as family, friends, coworkers, religions, politics, etc. We learn our behaviors and values from the things around us, so to truly understand a problem and work to change it, we have to be willing to look at the family/social/world systems we are part of. 

This approach is helpful because it can free you from the responsibility and shame of being or having a problem; it’s not all you! We can all take responsibility for problems and we can all work together to make them better. This provides opportunities for real, lasting change.

You mention in your bio that you’re especially interested in working with teens and parents of children, can you talk more about why? 

Teens are an overlooked population for therapy. Not enough therapists are willing to work with them, likely because they are developmentally not quite independent but still able to make choices for themselves that can have a major impact on the rest of their lives. Teens experience a lot of change, big emotions, and opportunities, and they deserve a judgment-free, supportive place to talk about their lives. As a former “troubled teen” myself, I don’t scare easily, and I know there can be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Parents are often unsupported in our society. People are still expected to have kids without necessarily knowing what parenting is like! Research and theories (and social media) on parenting practices have transformed popular opinion on the best ways to parent, making navigating challenging behaviors all the more confusing. Parents deserve informed resources to learn and explore what is best for their own families, and I am excited to be part of that support system.

What are the books or other resources that you recommend most to clients? 

Oh goodness. I read a lot, so I love to talk about books. I recommend Like a Mother by Angela Garbes and Expecting Better by Emily Osters for prospective or expecting parents. Equal Partners by Kate Mangino is excellent for unpacking the balance of labor in domestic relationships. The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy is life-changing for exploring relationship configurations and perspectives on love. Finally, The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld is wonderful for children (and adults) facing big emotions, and Bodies are Cool by Tyler Feder is beautiful for children (and adults) to learn about body diversity.

What are you reading / watching / listening to right now? 

I’ve been listening to the Off Menu podcast in which comedians talk about their dream meal. It’s funny and lighthearted, so it’s great for unwinding. I listen to Paris Paloma’s feminist indie music on repeat. I have been reading romance (mostly fantasy romance) like my life depends on it for the past year, and I am simply obsessed.