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Sara Haynes, LPC, ALMFT 2/24/22 Sara Haynes, LPC, ALMFT 2/24/22

How to Support a Loved One with an Eating Disorder

Eating disorders are serious life threatening illnesses, and they do not discriminate regardless of age, race, gender identity, sexual orientation, or background. Most often you cannot infer from the outside an individual is struggling with an eating disorder. The thought that weight is the only indicator someone is struggling, can perpetuate the secrecy and shame surrounding the struggle. Once you pull back the shade around this stigma, you can then keep an eye out for the warning signs.

Supporting a loved one who is struggling with an eating disorder can be frightening and overwhelming; however, connection and communal support are key to recovery. Here are some quick tips to consider if you want to provide care for someone struggling with an eating disorder:

Tip #1 Educate yourself and make a plan: It can be difficult to approach your loved one about their eating disorder. There can be a lot of fear and emotions involved, so it is important to feel prepared. Prepare what you want to say and how. Invest in further reading about eating disorders to gain a deeper understanding and compassion for the struggle your loved one is experiencing. Avoid suggestions, and general statements like, “you need to stop.” Map out your key main points, then find a private location and time to talk (How to help a loved one. (2017, February 26).

Tip # 2 Approach with care: The pain your loved one is experiencing can be rooted in deep shame. It is vital to approach from a neutral and loving standpoint. Be sure to use I-statements, like, “I notice you are going to the gym a lot, and I am worried about you. I want to find a way to help you” (Eating disorders: Common warning signs. (2021, June 7).

Tip #3 Don’t give up: Know that they might not initially accept your support, but do not give up. It is important to find the balance between compassion and assertiveness, as getting them the help they need is vital. Allow space for them to express their potential worries, and offer to make the first treatment phone call with them (Eating disorders: Common warning signs. (2021, June 7).

Tip #4 Separate them from their eating disorder: Your loved one is not their eating disorder, and separating the two shows it can be tackled. Find windows where they acknowledge their symptoms, and how it might impact what they want for themselves. For example, if they love the outdoors, but are feeling tired and lethargic. Use that as a chance to express how you want them to gain back their energy in order to go camping and hiking like they’ve wanted to.

Tip # 5 Find support for YOU: Being a supporter to your loved one and their eating disorder can be an emotional journey. Not only does your loved one need to know they are not alone, so do you. Find a family member support group, or seek individual therapy so you have a space to process your experiences.

Sources:

Eating disorders: Common warning signs. (2021, June 7). National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders. https://anad.org/get-informed/eating-disorders-warning-signs/

How to help a loved one. (2017, February 26). National Eating Disorders Association. https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/help/caregivers

Additional Resources:

Identity and Eating Disorders

ANAD - Eating Disorder Statistics

Eating Disorder Warning Signs

NEDA- Support Resources

Justin Sato MA, MBA, CADC 2/17/22 Justin Sato MA, MBA, CADC 2/17/22

What to Expect in Your First Relationship Therapy Session

Starting relationship therapy with your partner(s) and meeting your new therapist can be anxiety provoking. What will you discuss in your first session? What will your partner(s) say? What will the therapist think? What if it's awkward? These are all normal thoughts when meeting your therapist. You are essentially inviting a stranger into your relationship!

While every therapist may have some slight differences - generally you can expect that the first session will focus on you and the therapist getting to know each other better. Sessions are approximately 55 minutes long. Your therapist will explain logistics such as intake paperwork, confidentiality, cancellation policy, and etc. This allows time for you and your partner to also ask the therapist questions as well. Questions you might ask include the therapist’s approach/style in therapy, previous experience, etc. Your therapist will also ask you questions to understand you and your partner(s) better, goals you want to achieve in therapy, and also explain the structure of sessions. Questions to expect from your therapist include being asked the history of your relationship, conflicts that arise within the relationship, strengths, etc.

Remember- therapy is a two way street. Feel free to ask questions to your therapist to make sure you all are a good fit, you are essentially interviewing them the first few sessions. Subsequent sessions will include the therapist continuing to understand your relationship and then diving past the ‘surface’ level. Coming to therapy is similar to dating; you want to make sure you feel heard and understood by your therapist and that you feel comfortable with them. If, after a few sessions, you feel like you don’t “click”, let your therapist know and they can refer you to other therapists who may be a better fit. It's okay to feel uncomfortable the first few sessions, that’s normal.

Sara Haynes, LPC, ALMFT 2/9/22 Sara Haynes, LPC, ALMFT 2/9/22

What is Self-Care?

Self-care has become a buzzword on the internet and across social media platforms. Google’s formal definition states, “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.” Self-care is vital during moments of stress. However, creating purposeful rituals is most helpful when they are established before those periods of stress. Have you ever heard the phrase, you can’t pour from an empty cup? Well, someone once told me, the truth is hidden behind the word cliché.

You might envision self-care to be a day at the nail salon with a mimosa in hand, a pizza night streaming your favorite show, or taking a lavish beach vacation. Can those things be considered enjoyable and a way to decompress? Absolutely. Self-care is so much more than that though. It is meant to be intentional, and supports your overall well-being in a variety of ways. I often discuss it with clients as multiple buckets that you continuously pour into. Read on for the five buckets of self-care that I have categorized.

Physical: Fuel the endorphins with a HIIT workout, yoga, or walks around the park. Then drop that into your physical self-care bucket! It is not just about routine exercise though. Physical self-care can include your annual doctor visits, the nutrition you feed your body, and a good night's rest.

Mental: Take a break from the day-to-day by gently exercising your mind. Schedule just 5 minutes of book time before bed. Pull out a 1,000 piece puzzle, or challenge yourself with a daily Wordle puzzle.

Emotional: Connecting with your emotional world is vital. Consider a check-in with reflective journaling. There are great journal prompts online to support this. Write a few on a sticky note, place them into a jar, and pull one out a few times a week. Now this might be a given, but therapy! Are you anxious about a presentation? Talk to your therapist, and build out a cope-ahead strategy. Therapy is an hour a week dedicated just for you.

Relational: Find ways to connect regularly with the ones you feel supported by. Set a reminder on your phone to call one person every Friday afternoon. Attend a community event like a block party with your partner. Pick out an organization or social cause, and find ways to support it. Find a conversation starter card deck, and pull them out during a family dinner. These are just a few ways you can deepen and expand your relationships.

Spiritual: For some it can be a religious practice like prayer, or readings. However, spirituality can also be defined by activities that help nurture your spirit. Things that help you connect to your physical self. A mindful walk around the park engaging your senses, or a meditative yoga flow. A visit to a forest preserve with no technology. Identify what will help you step away from that monkey mind, and connect within.

Additional Resources: A highly recommended TedTalk by Portia Jackson-Preston.

Portia Jackson-Preston Discusses the Missing Ingredient in Self-Care

Garth LaHue MA, LMFT 2/3/22 Garth LaHue MA, LMFT 2/3/22

The Pros and Cons of Teletherapy

Due to COVID-19 there has been a rapid transition to remote therapy services over the past two years. This has left clients wondering whether to pursue teletherapy or seek out in-person providers - a dilemma I imagine prospective clients will be asking long after COVID recedes in the years ahead. As for many decisions in life, the old tried and true method of the Pros and Cons list is a wonderful starting place to discern what is best for you.

PRO – Time Management

Whether you want therapy on your lunch break, just before or after work, or while in a different city visiting a friend. Teletherapy provides this option where in-person therapy cannot. You can see your therapist for an emergency meeting quicker and closer to your emergency than having to wait to be in the same physical space. For this reason, teletherapy is immensely favorable if you have a busy schedule or travel frequently.

PRO – Physical Safety

Physical safety from community viruses or transportation accidents are a non-factor when it comes to telehealth. This means that having a late therapy session after work, then having to get home late does not matter. I have had countless sessions with individuals who are feeling ill that can be safely done only through teletherapy. If you are concerned about your safety getting to therapy, teletherapy may be your best option.

PRO – Casual Wear

Often people come to therapy in business casual clothes; though this is a norm and not a rule, I have seen people be self-conscious of what they wear. Teletherapy has helped break this stigma for the better. It may be the summer and people want to wear shorts or the winter and people just want to wear a hoodie. Telehealth puts people often in their homes, they can be more themselves, which is therapeutically useful, also may make you feel more at ease.

CON – Lack of Privacy

In the last point I mentioned you may be more at ease at home, this can also be a con. Depending upon the matter you are coming to therapy for and your living situation, you may not have adequate privacy. In-person therapy, by default, gives you privacy by being in a neutral and safe space. If you live with someone in tight quarters, or if the reason you’re coming to therapy is sensitive and you wish others to not know about the matter, in-person therapy may be the best fit for you.

CON – Technology Issues

Technology issues are an ever-growing issue. It may be that your device is older, or the new update had a bug, you or your therapist could have a weak internet connection or the application you are using is having issues. This issue can only occur during telehealth. For those that have technology issues, or are not technologically inclined, it may be best to seek in-person therapy.

CON – Eyestrain

Increasingly being in the digital age, we are faced with the issue of eyestrain from our screens. A therapy session runs an hour, which leads to an hour of almost constraint glancing at a screen, usually close to your face. Those without blue-light lenses may develop heads from increased screen time. For this reason, in-person therapy may be more desirable.

Conclusion

The list above is a starting point, what are the pros and cons in your opinion? Do you desire in-person therapy because it fits your life in a more engaging way or is teletherapy better for you with all the commitments you have? Below I have listed for your convenience, some resources that may help you decide. We get the pros & cons of teletherapy - for this reason ECC offers both remote and in-person services. Contact us to explore your options!

Further Reading

Extreme Productivity: Boost Your Results, Reduce Your Hours Hardcover

By Robert C. Pozen: For those looking for a read to increase productivity, this may help in discerning which method of therapy is best for you. A lengthy portion of the book focuses on discerning the things you need and the ways to get them.

10 Advantages Of Teletherapy,

By Clifford N. Lazarus, Ph.D.: For those looking for a blog, Dr. Lazarus clearly writes ten solid reasons to pursue teletherapy. The read time is roughly 3-minutes.

Mental Health: Telehealth or In-Person Therapy, by 9NEWS (Local NBC affiliate in Denver, CO) For those looking for a video segment. Just over an 8-minutes segment to help those to find which method of therapy may be best for them.

Justin Sato MA, MBA, CADC 1/27/22 Justin Sato MA, MBA, CADC 1/27/22

Understanding and Managing Panic Attacks

Panic attacks feel different to everyone, but if you’ve ever had a panic attack you can agree they aren’t “fun”. A panic attack is the repeated fear for several minutes or longer in which a strong physical reaction occurs even though there’s no real danger. This can be caused by the fear of losing control and can happen at any time. Everyone experiences these attacks differently but most people will experience racing heart, feeling like you are dying, tingling or numb sensation, nausea, difficulty breathing, chills or sweats, etc. An attack can leave you extremely exhausted afterwards even if the episode only lasts a few minutes.

The bad news is that we don’t know what exactly causes panic attacks although it may be linked to major stressors and genetics. The good news is that these attacks are manageable and you can learn ways to reduce an episode or try to self-soothe. Below are some tips to manage these symptoms both in the moment and in the future as a preventative measure:

When you notice a panic attack is starting, try deep breathing to help regulate your heart rhythm and reduce hyperventilating which can cause your attack to become worse.
Try your best to avoid “running away” from the panic attack - instead, try to “ride the wave”. Panic attacks are often fueled by anxiety about anxiety - it is helpful to “lean in” and allow the panic attack to come and go like a wave.
Take any prescribed medications from your doctor such as benzodiazepines or SSRI’s (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors).
Engage in psychotherapy services to learn how to reduce attacks (NIMH, 2016)
Engage in light exercising to improve physical and mental health.
Reduce intake of caffeine, smoking, and alcohol as these are linked to causing worse anxiety symptoms.
Practice mindfulness such as 5-4-3-2-1 grounding techniques (further explanation in link below).